Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
