either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
