alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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