Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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