i jhust puked up my retainher.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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