wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
