I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
