What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
