I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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