yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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