I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize