Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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