its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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