There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
