you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
