i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
