Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
