I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
