Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
