we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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