Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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