One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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