the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
