Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
