So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
