Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
