I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
