Betty ford says i'm here all night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
