ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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