if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
