im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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