Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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