a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Text me some of your sweat
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize