I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
