none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
