I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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