my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
