This is not my ceiling
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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