The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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