so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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