I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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