Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
