I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
