Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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  (817): they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/g989
  Replies (8) Good night (3366) Bad night (888)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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  (203): We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won. http://tfl.nu/1h1c
  Replies (39) Good night (9314) Bad night (1027)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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  (253): just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else http://tfl.nu/tjvf
  Replies (12) Good night (839) Bad night (3909)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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  (434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z
  Replies (37) Good night (8963) Bad night (1213)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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  (304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (3422)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning

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  (609): at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning http://tfl.nu/nizm
  Replies (18) Good night (5196) Bad night (1032)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

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  (313): The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two. http://tfl.nu/ya0u
  Replies (31) Good night (6727) Bad night (1253)
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  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (908) Bad night (2542)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3531) Bad night (714)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"

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  (313): he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH" http://tfl.nu/f18j
  Replies (9) Good night (2133) Bad night (656)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

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  (970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (366)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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  (417): I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him... http://tfl.nu/ae62
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (787)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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  (918): Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art. http://tfl.nu/zfiz
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (300)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..

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  (720): Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now.. http://tfl.nu/5bpm
  Replies (0) Good night (304) Bad night (452)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED

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  (615): I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies. (931): BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED http://tfl.nu/1csz
  Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (204)

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