If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.