it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman