Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (677) Bad night (1224)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3655) Bad night (879)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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  (516): I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss http://tfl.nu/w0b9
  Replies (34) Good night (6006) Bad night (1563)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely

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  (423): Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely http://tfl.nu/wliv
  Replies (37) Good night (671) Bad night (4246)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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  (412): im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again. http://tfl.nu/heac
  Replies (38) Good night (4515) Bad night (988)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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  (516): Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes http://tfl.nu/edsk
  Replies (31) Good night (9383) Bad night (955)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?

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  (330): this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants? http://tfl.nu/rwj9
  Replies (12) Good night (6187) Bad night (1090)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend

  (917): View more from New York City

  Yeah but those French chicks did get naked

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  (404): This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend (917): Yeah but those French chicks did get naked http://tfl.nu/3ob7
  Replies (6) Good night (3236) Bad night (701)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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  (512): studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing http://tfl.nu/zch9
  Replies (12) Good night (1689) Bad night (801)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

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  (914): He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right? http://tfl.nu/6yne
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (556)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (407)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.

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  (417): Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/szac
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (760)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.

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  (541): Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body. http://tfl.nu/i81x
  Replies (9) Good night (1912) Bad night (481)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken

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  (416): Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?! (1-416): Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken http://tfl.nu/8jmi
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (424)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.

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  (702): I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics. http://tfl.nu/p59u
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (575)

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