White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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