you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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