false alarm. still invincible.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
