There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sarcasm needs its own font
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
