So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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