Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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