Are we in a gay sports bar?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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