dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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