after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
