So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
