i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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