New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize