Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
