I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
