I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
