sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize