Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
